"She loves herself."
Be honest, how did you read that? Was it negative or was it positive? In October, I went to Glamour Women of The Year with my mom. It's not often that words strike me. However, Mindy Kaling said something that honestly changed my way of thinking. During her panel with Today Show hosts Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie, Mindy said, "It's not that I'm into myself, it's that I don't hate myself. In my career, a lot of people have a problem with being around women who don't hate themselves. Never hate yourself." I was, in the words of my favorite Morning Show hosts Claudia and Jackie, SHOOK to the core. It made me think.... why is it more socially acceptable to hate yourself? I have always considered myself a pretty confident person. However, I never realized how mean I am to myself just to fit in. I make comments about my weight, or my outfit, or my job that I don't believe just to be relatable. It's like I am ashamed to admit I am happy. I apologize all the time for things I don't have to be sorry for. Someone opens the door for me at work, "Sorry!" Like dude he just opened the door FOR YOU, you didn't hurt him, there's nothing to be sorry for. Mindy made me realize I wasn't as confident as I thought. I am a firm believer that there is a difference between being cocky and being confident. I have come to learn that the most braggadocios people are often the most insecure. But confidence...confidence is...unabashedly loving yourself. I thought about Mindy's statement a lot this week, with it being the New Year and all. The New Year often comes with resolutions. I would say about 90% of these resolutions involve changing something you dislike about yourself. But why? Why is hating yourself the default? I have made a point to be more aware of how I treat myself. Even writing this, signaling that I am confident in my writing skills and have an opinion, probably will be judged. But I don't care. I don't care because I trust myself. I trust my writing and my opinion. I don't need validation from someone else to solidify it. I am challenging all of you reading this to be more aware of how you treat yourself. Turns out we are stuck with ourselves forever so might as well be a little kinder. HIGHLY recommend reading this Elle article for more on this topic: www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/culture/longform/a35183/self-deprecation-humour-psychologically-socially-damaging/ Xo, Kayla
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